It is dark.
I am all warm and cozy, tucked in the hollow of a strong arm.
The alarm sounds, a quiet talking coming from the radio.
I don't want to get up.
I feel so safe and protected.
I listen to the heavy breathing coming from next to me and take a moment to be thankful for my wonderful husband.
I get up.
Slip on my ancient, beat up slippers, and tiptoe out the door.
I peek in my little girls room.
She is all tucked in, her hair an array of gold silk.
Her new jammies match mine and I am happy.
She is so beautiful.
I can still see the little tiny baby in there when she is sleeping.
I creep down the stairs.
They are old and creaky and I know just where to step to be as quiet as possible.
I look out the window and see the season's first snow on the ground.
I put tiny new purple boots by the door cause Lord knows she will want to be outside as quickly as possible.
Then I see a brave soul walking a big dog down the street.
Breath frosty in the air.
And I am glad I am on the inside looking out.
I head to the kitchen to brew some coffee.
Blessed coffee. How I love you.
I look at the picture on my kitchen windowsill.
Me and Mom.
Hugging and looking happy.
And I wish for things that cannot be.
I tidy up and check my calendar as the coffee finishes up.
So much Christmas fun heading our way.
And a child who is at the perfect age for it all.
I sip my coffee and turn on the computer.
Relishing the silence.
Relishing the loves of my life still blissfully sleeping upstairs.
Hoping they are dreaming of glitter and unicorns.
I am awake now.
Glad I have pulled myself out of the deep dark slumber.
I am an only and am a loner at times.
And I need the solitary time in the morning.
Just for me.
And a busy day filled with all those things that fill our days.
Some fun. Some not.
But for now it is just me.
And my coffee.
Another day has begun.
I will embrace it.