early morning

It is dark.

I am all warm and cozy, tucked in the hollow of a strong arm.

The alarm sounds, a quiet talking coming from the radio.

I don't want to get up.

I feel so safe and protected.

I listen to the heavy breathing coming from next to me and take a moment to be thankful for my wonderful husband.

I get up.

Slip on my ancient, beat up slippers, and tiptoe out the door.

I peek in my little girls room.

She is all tucked in, her hair an array of gold silk.

Her new jammies match mine and I am happy.

She is so beautiful.

I can still see the little tiny baby in there when she is sleeping.

I creep down the stairs.

They are old and creaky and I know just where to step to be as quiet as possible.

I look out the window and see the season's first snow on the ground.

I put tiny new purple boots by the door cause Lord knows she will want to be outside as quickly as possible.

Then I see a brave soul walking a big dog down the street.

Breath frosty in the air.

Hands mittened.

And I am glad I am on the inside looking out.

I head to the kitchen to brew some coffee.

Blessed coffee.  How I love you.

I look at the picture on my kitchen windowsill.

Me and Mom. 

Hugging and looking happy.

And I wish for things that cannot be.

I tidy up and check my calendar as the coffee finishes up.

So much Christmas fun heading our way.

And a child who is at the perfect age for it all.

I sip my coffee and turn on the computer.

Relishing the silence.

Relishing the loves of my life still blissfully sleeping upstairs.

Hoping they are dreaming of glitter and unicorns.

I am awake now.

Glad I have pulled myself out of the deep dark slumber.

I am an only and am a loner at times.

And I need the solitary time in the morning.

Just for me.

Exercise awaits. 

And a busy day filled with all those things that fill our days.

Some fun.  Some not.

But for now it is just me.

And my coffee.

And solitude.

Another day has begun.

I will embrace it.