Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Plus, I realized I totally liked the attention. I liked people reading my words. And commenting on them.
So forgive this post of what a typical day is for me. Right now. Today. I need it for future remembrance.
Early - Run. I want this half marathon to be OVER.
8ish - Ellie wakes up, comes into our bedroom naked, and asks to put on her ballet outfit.
8ish-8:30ish - Breakfast of oatmeal, meat, fruit, and blessed coffee for mama.
8:30-12:10 - Tidy, laundry, watch E change clothes 13 times, argue about what she needs to wear, clean up messes, play barbies, my little ponies, babies, have lunch.
12:10-3:00 - Ellie school. I have lunch, run errands, clean, read, visit, do whatever needs done.
3:00-5:00 - "Rest", have a snack, fold laundry from the morning, think about dinner.
5:00-6:30 - Prepare and eat a healthy and delicious dinner while sitting around the dinner table discussing our day nicely. Just like in Leave it to Beaver. Not. More like sit there saying, "four more bites and you can be excused." "Sit down!" "Drink your milk!" "But mom! This is yucky!" God Bless America.
6:30-8:00 - Play with Daddy, take a walk, potty, brush teeth, read stories, bed.
8:00-11:00 - Go up and settle her 2 or 3 times, relax, watch tv, cuddle, read, drink tea, etc...
There. That is the very bare bones of what goes on, but I think that is enough for me to remember.
I watch some the preschool moms dropping off their kids, how busy they are, how frazzled they are, and realize, I have it good. Real good. Ellie is, for all her 4 year old faults, a fantastic kid. I have a perfect balance of time for her, and time for myself, and time for Chris and I.
Next year, this will all change and I am sad about that. Ellie will be in school all day and I have going to have to find something to do. Outside the house. Like a job. Ew!
Anyone need a coffee tester from 9-2?
Or maybe a hiking guide from 9-2?
Or someone to pet horses from 9-2?
Or a personal shopper from 9-2?
These are jobs I would be interested in.
Monday, September 27, 2010
On Sunday we held the first ever Davis, Riley, Kistler, Jones-Pesler Golf Outing.
And it was a roaring success!
Spouses were split up and we played a scramble with a few little twists and turns thrown it.
Twists like, throwing the ball for a tee shot and putting backwards between your legs.
It was SO MUCH FUN.
I had a monumental first. I drank a beer (or 2) before noon. And liked it! Apparently, beer must be consumed before it is appropriate for me to enjoy it.
Only problem, beer drinking leads to needing to pee. With not a lot of toilets available.
Now I am not a novice "woods pee-er."
Done it lots and lots of time.
But I got all flustered cause Kevin and Dave were coming...
and totally peed on my pants.
Megan thought that was picture worthy and I promised to include it in the blog.
So there you go. I am pointing to the pee.
My team was victorious! So Chris had to hand out the medals.
We really did have such a good time. Thanks everyone for making it so fun!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
So it is going to be a post of total randomness...
First and foremost. I think Josh Jackson, aka Charlie Conway, aka Pacey Witter, aka Peter Bishop is just about the cutest thing EVER. Don't worry. My husband knows all about it.
If you are my facebook friend, you know about my newfound obsession with nutella. Ohdeargodinheaven. I am going to weigh a ton due to this stuff.
I really wish I would have kept all my old strawberry shortcake stuff. Ellie would love it. My friend Julie has all her old stuff. It might go missing.
Someone needs to get me these slippers for Christmas. I don't care what color. I go through slippers like toilet paper. Love em. Chris? Paige? Linda? Discuss and coordinate.
They need to make my favorite book, Outlander, into a movie and cast Gerard Butler as Jamie. He is almost handsome enough to pull it off.
Me thinks this shall be my new bedroom. In my next life.
I am pretty sure this is the kind of dog I would want if we can ever talk Chris into it...
I absolutely adore the season of candy corn!
I could go on and on and on and on but I have stuff to do people. Fun stuff like laundry, and dusting, and drawer cleaning outing, and tub scrubbing.
So I go!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
When you first lose your mom you think you will never get through it.
It is impossible to imagine a life without her.
Then, months later, you go a whole day without thinking about her
and cry because you didn't think about her.
Then, months after that, you go a whole day without thinking about her
and its ok. Almost.
Then you have your first child and think you will never get through it.
It's impossible to imagine being a mother without your own mother to help.
Especially the mother of a daughter.
Then you get too busy in the everyday to dwell on it much.
But it still hurts when there are things you want to share with her and can't.
Like her first smile, or when she first notices a robin, or the first time she said
"who is grandma teetee?"
Then you watch your friends with their mothers
mothers who are healthy and alive and there
grandma's who spoil and babysit and listen to all that stuff that nobody really cares about
and you get really sad.
Cause it's just not fair.
Then you realize this is the way it is.
And you get on with it.
Then you wake up and it is her birthday
and you miss her all over again.
You wish she were here. My, how life would be different if she were here.
On her birthday you would
make opera cremes and watch The Way We Were and swoon over Robert Redford.
And talk books.
Over wine of course.
Then we would be tipsy and think Chef Boyardee pizza sounded good.
So we would make some.
And plan for the future. Her next visit. What books Ellie might want next. When Ellie can come to Indiana.
You know, mother/daughter stuff.
Unimportant things. Until they are gone. Then, so very very missed.
September 16. A happy day.
Happy Birthday Mama.
I love you.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The reality is this corner of our kitchen always looks like this. Always. Currently there are library movies to take back, a half eaten kashi bar, my extra cool fanny pack to hold my gu on longer runs, my trusty pedometer, and any paperwork that we don't know what else to do with.
The reality is my vegatable drawer is sorely lacking. Look at that pitiful little red pepper.
The reality is we have the fattest cat this side of the universe.
The reality is the landing at the top of our stairs is a catch all for whatever needs to be put away.
The reality is I have a 4 year old who loves to line things up.
The reality is if I have to make these little animals "talk" one more time, I might go crazy.
The reality is her bed never gets made. Never Ever.
The reality is I have totally given up trying to keep her drawers organized. She pulls things out all willy nilly.
The reality is I need a bigger closet. I mean, seriously. Look at that disaster.
The reality is my kitchen sink looks like this all the time. There is always left over somethingorother nearby, stuff to put in the dishwasher, and usually a dirty wine glass waiting to be washed. And yes. I use splenda. I drink too much coffee to use regular suger. I would weigh 400 pounds.
PS...The reality is I need a new kitchen. Desperately. Now that we are sticking around for awhile, we are deciding what we want to do...
What's your reality?
Monday, September 13, 2010
What a day!
We went to Cedar Point to cheer our friends on their very first Half Iron Man! That would be a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 miles running. Insantiy.
They all did great! And we are very very proud of them.
As we were waiting for them to finish, we managed to have some fun.
We realized that Ellie is a total daredevil and we are going to have to hire someone to go with us to places like this when she is old enough to ride everything. Chris and I are good for about 2 rides each and then we are done. We get headaches and stomach aches.
Getting old sucks.
Chris did, however, ride the Top Thrill Dragster. Anything that takes you from 0 to 300 (no joke) in one second is NOT for me.
I rode the much tamer Gemini. And I was good with that. Of course, Ellie was one teeny half inch to short, so I had been riding rides with her all day. Blech. I am still not right.
Enjoy the pics of the day!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and realize how lucky you are? How truly blessed your life is? I love days like that. Days where the little problems and hassles of life seem trivial and even a little stupid. Days where you bask in all that is good and right instead of all that is wrong and stressful?
Pants are a little tighter? Who cares! Meeting our new neighbors and sharing some wine and delicious dessert was worth it!
Husband gone AGAIN? Who cares! He has great friends and interests of his own which only makes our marriage stronger. Plus he always gives extra good back rubs when he gets back.
Kid whining again? Who cares! She is healthy and happy and stubborn and wonderful.
Kid wants to wear her bathing suit to her soccer game? Who cares! In twelve seconds it will be over and she will be excited to put on her teeny tiny shin guards.
Crack in the kitchen ceiling is getting bigger? Who cares! We have a beautiful home that keeps us warm and safe.
Ran out of my favorite coffee? Who cares! Ok, I do. This one is unacceptable. Moving on.
Cat puked on the rug again? Who cares! She is our pet and we love her. All 25 pounds of her. Fatty.
Have to run 8 miles today? Who cares! It is only running, it is good for me, and I will be able to cross something off my bucket list when this silly half marathon is over.
So busy through the end of October that I can't even think straight? Who cares! We get to spend time with our wonderful friends, live life, drink wine, and catch up.
Have to somehow manage to get 4 folding chairs, water bottle, snacks, purse, and 4 year old a quarter mile alone at soccer game? Who cares! People love Ellie enough to come watch her play soccer.
A sore tooth? Who cares! I happen to adore my dentist. He is family :)
A slightly dirty house? Who cares! I was too busy playing pretend and dress up to notice.
Reading a totally smutty book (when other, more insightful books await) and feeling guilty about it? Who cares! We can't read War and Peace every day. Plus, it is really good!
Stressed out about schools? Who cares! It will all work out. Ellie won't have to attend school in the
I love the "cup is half full" days. The "seeing the silver lining" days. Wish they could all be like this.
I guess they all could be. If I didn't let myself get so bogged down in the trivial stuff.
A new goal perhaps?
Why do you feel lucky today? Think about it. There are lots of reasons if you look hard enough.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
So there is a big delimma in my life these days. Huge. Ginormous. Monstrous. It consumes my nearly every waking hour. I think and think and think about it. Stress about it. Worry about it. Endlessly.
The question is, should we give Ellie a sibling.
This sibling could come from us. A true sibling. The least likely scenario. I don't need to be pregnant again. There are lots of kids out there that need a good home.
This sibling could be adopted. A less least likely scenario. For some reason, I always see a little dark skinned child. A complete contrast to Ellie's ivory complexion. I can see their little different colored fingers entwined walking in front of us on the way to the park.
This sibling could be a dog. Ha! We are working on Chris, the dedicated dog hater in the family.
There is only one problem. Chris and I are totally completely happy with the little family we have. I certaintly don't need another baby. I don't even think I want one.
But I don't want any regrets. And it's not like I would ever regret another child. Ever. And I know that.
But we are still happy with where we are. With our little family. The three of us.
I know people think we are making a mistake, making the wrong decision.
But I don't know if I can have justify having a baby for Ellie, and not cause we really want to expand our family. Do you have a baby for your exsisting child? There is no guarantee they would be close. Plus, now they would be over 5 years apart. And every time we ask her if she wants a brother or sister, she says no.
I am justifying and I know that. She doesn't know what's best for her. Hell, in this situation, I don't know whats best either. I don't want her to be all alone when we are gone. But then again, I am a huge proponent that your family is what you make it to be.
Are we being selfish? We have it so good right now.
You see, I am an only child. And I loved it. As a grown woman, I can see the definite advantages of a brother or sister. But I don't feel like I am missing anything. I don't fell deprived of anything. And I have suffered some major life crisis. (Hello! mother dying when I was 26 and just getting to know her. How dare she!?!) But I still never said, "this would be so much easier with someone to share it with." Cause I don't know the difference. You just endure what you have to. Right?
I guess I just need someone to say "It's ok! There are lots of only children out there. Their not all spoiled rotten. They are happy. They lead good, fulfilling lives."
Actually, people have told me that. But I can see behind them. I see that they don't really mean it. They don't mean me harm and they are not judging me, but they don't mean it. They can't imagine having only one and don't really get it. I don't blame them for how they feel and I love them for trying to make me feel better.
Or even better, I wish I could see 20 years down the road. Make sure she is happy. Make sure she doesn't feel all alone.
It's such a freaking hard decision. I am so tired of worrying about it.
I could go on and on. But I think you get the general idea.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Today I am thankful for:
3 day weekends
an empty laundry basket
flowers on my dining room table
TJ's blueberry soda
being able to run even though I mostly hate it
a girl who woke up on the wrong side of the bed
with messy pig tails
and mismatched jammies
a disappearing pimple (finally!)
sheets fresh from the dryer
cartoons that keep a girl busy for 30 minutes
meeting friends for lunch
learning new things
new jeans that fit just right
and 4 new tops to go with them
all on sale!
a husband who understands
a mama's need to be left alone
if even for an hour
with peanut butter toast
and blog reading
big decisions being made
and settling into what isn't so bad after all
today I am thankful for it all
cause it's all good
even the yucky everyday hassles
that tend to bog me down
cause this is it
there is no do-over
no turning back
no rewind button
today I am thankful for remembering that
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My kid looking entirely too old. She is 4. Not 14.
Playing soccer on the beach with your dad. Does it get any better?
FINALLY perfecting the frisbee throw. We have been working on this all summer. Look at that! Right in Dads hands!
Megan changing into her suit. On the beach. With nothing more than a towel. It was quite impressive. Girlfriend is doing a half iron man next weekend. That would be a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike and then a half marathon. She is amazing this girl. We will be there to cheer her on. And Jeff too, of course! I love having healthy and active friends. They make me strive to be healthy too. She is a big reason why I am running my first half marathon in October. My friend Jen is a big reason too. Hell, almost my entire book club runs. 5ks, halfs, marathons, half iron mans. It's kinda crazy!
Golly! Talk about a digress!
Back to the pictures...
Cozy little spot in the city. But I see a cougar! Do you?
Throwing and catching popcorn. Ellie was using the "drop technique."
Cougar made a fool of herself when we let her at the popcorn. She was very embarrased later.
Turned the corner at the game on Sunday and ran into 2 giant boa constrictors. Yuck! Ellie, however, loved them.
I participated in a dance competition to try and win free tickets. Sadly, I did not win. I kinda dance like Elaine on Seinfield.
Slider was THISCLOSE to us during the game. After his little dance, he gave me a ginormous kiss. Right on the mouth. I think it made the jumbotron. Yea.