Nearly 3 weeks in.
And while I am very happy working, and like the people and job and such,
what I gave up is starting to set in.
It is a transition.
I know this.
It will be easier when school starts.
I hope this.
I have been spoiled and lucky to get to be home with her as long as I was.
And my job situation is really ideal.
And I was lucky to find it.
But there are some things that I just really miss.
Like lazy mornings.
And hearing her little feet patter down the stairs while I am drinking my coffee.
And knowing she is getting a good healthy breakfast.
And deciding what we are going to do for the day.
And then doing it.
I miss having time.
Just time.
I feel rushed a lot now.
And I don't like this feeling.
I don't feel present.
I feel like I am missing stuff.
Not important stuff.
But sometimes that is the most important stuff of all.
I don't like to miss stuff.
And she is mad at me.
She doesn't know it.
But she is.
She asked me on Sunday night if I was going to work again this week.
Yeah.
Broke my heart a little.
But we are soldiering on.
Figuring it all out.
It will get easier.
It will become normal.
And for that I am grateful.
But I'm not a fan of the transition.
Nope.
Not even a little.
3 comments:
Hugs, Tia. Transitions are hard (for the whole family.) It sounds like such an ideal job for the school year...which will be here before we know it. You are such a great mama!
Being a first time mom it was very hard for me to go back to work. I was lucky enough that I had family available to watch my son. Then that was no longer an option and I had to settle for daycare. Ah! You want to talk about awful! I felt like the worst mother ever! Luckily, that didn't last long and we have another family member. That is the thing about a transition, it doesn't last long and everyone gets used to the change and it becomes the norm. It doesn't make you miss staying home any less though! I still wish I could just cuddle my son in the morning and not have to rush off to work! I guess thats what Saturday and Sunday are for : ( Goodluck with your transition! I'm happy you like your new job.
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