Nearly 3 weeks in.
And while I am very happy working, and like the people and job and such,
what I gave up is starting to set in.
It is a transition.
I know this.
It will be easier when school starts.
I hope this.
I have been spoiled and lucky to get to be home with her as long as I was.
And my job situation is really ideal.
And I was lucky to find it.
But there are some things that I just really miss.
Like lazy mornings.
And hearing her little feet patter down the stairs while I am drinking my coffee.
And knowing she is getting a good healthy breakfast.
And deciding what we are going to do for the day.
And then doing it.
I miss having time.
I feel rushed a lot now.
And I don't like this feeling.
I don't feel present.
I feel like I am missing stuff.
Not important stuff.
But sometimes that is the most important stuff of all.
I don't like to miss stuff.
And she is mad at me.
She doesn't know it.
But she is.
She asked me on Sunday night if I was going to work again this week.
Broke my heart a little.
But we are soldiering on.
Figuring it all out.
It will get easier.
It will become normal.
And for that I am grateful.
But I'm not a fan of the transition.
Not even a little.