this morning

This morning, Ellie woke up at 0 dark thirty with a bad dream. I went in, calmed her and went back to bed. 5 minutes later she called again cause there was a bug in the room. Ok. Bug. Check. Then it was time for Chris to get up (at 5:45 cause he plays ball Tuesday mornings) and he was gone. At 5:49 she called again. I invited her to our bed, told her it was a one time thing and she had to go right back to sleep.

She did.

Oh my.

The pure bliss of sleeping with your baby.

When she was little and still nursing, I would bring her to bed for that 4 am feeding and she would sleep with us til morning.

I had forgotten.

How wonderful it is.

How could I have forgotten that?

It was rainy outside and the birds were just starting to sing. She snuggled all up next to me and fell instantly back to sleep. Knowing her mama would keep her safe from bad dreams and bugs. Knowing her mama was right there.

Her warm little body all snug in her blue and pink flower jammies.

Her little girl breaths whispery in my ear.

It was heaven. I was reluctant to fall back to sleep. I wanted to just drink her in and remember it forever.

This girl of mine.

It is so sad to think that there will come a time where I will be embarrasing. Where holding my hand will be totally beneath her. When we will wear the same size shoe.

Where she will pick her own friends, her own classes, her own choice for college, her own career, her own husband, and make decisions for her own babies.

Oh Ellie.

Stay little.

For just a little longer.

Ok?