little happies

I am not gonna lie people.

I am really struggling.

I don't know if it is the weather

(so much of which we can do things like this:)

Or losing my Noonie.

Or just stress in general.

But UGH.

I am not in a good place.

But after weeks of blah.

And sleeping a lot.

And being a slug.

And eating horrible.

I have decided it is enough.

No more Blah.

I looked around today, and in the space of 5 minutes found all of these things to be happy about.

This boy.

In the sun.

It may be 54 below zero, but the sun is shining.

And that helps.

 These bangs.

She went from looking 7 to 12 with one snip of the scissors.

Sigh.

Celebrating this guy last weekend.

I love that man so.

To the moon and back.

Forever and ever.

A new little girl was born last Sunday morning.

And I fell head over heels.

Welcome Aidy Lou.

I love you!

I got my hairs cut.

It's SHORT.

and 

DARK (er.)

I love it!

An unexpected present in the mail from a fellow hankie lover.

With the sweetest note.

Made my entire day.

Thank you Abby.  

I love it.

And have already used it :)

This boy again.

Always around.

A new found love of the (borrowed) guitar.

She plays it ALL THE TIME.

And writes her own songs with lyrics like

"I put my hand on the radio, and right then and there I heard my song."

"I heard my game.  I heard my fame"

"Oh Oh Oh Oh"

And we get performances.

Next up: lessons!

Little notes like this all over the house.

She is my favorite. 

Remembering to Enjoy Cleveland.

Even when it is so cold you just want to die.

Seriously.

Her cami's.

Never ever ever ever without one.

Chris doesn't get it at all.

I bought her another one.

"But she already has 3" he says.

But not a neon orange one.

Duh.

So there.

Officially out of the doldrums.

For serious.

my life right now

I feel like we need a little catch up.

You know.  Since I have been gone for so long.

 I am sure you are dying to know what my day to day is like.

Right?

Ok.

Twist my arm.

I'll tell you.

Here it is in a nutshell.

It snows a lot.

My kid never goes to school due to 'inclement weather.'

I work sitting at my dining room table.

With Spotify playing sad music.

I don't know why I am into such sad music.

I cook.

Or we fend for dinner.

(which means popcorn for me, protein of some kind for Chris, and pasta and veggies for Ellie.)

I heat and re-heat my rice bag.

I lay it across the tops of my legs when I am working.

I think I might have permanently scarred my upper thighs from the heat.

I'm not kidding.

But at least I am warm.

I watch The Walking Dead.

and Downton Abbey.

One right after the other.

Talk about differing tastes!

I do laundry.

And do laundry.

And do laundry.

I shovel snow.

And shovel.

And shovel.

I stress about things that are completely out of my control.

Which is stupid.

But I can't help it.

I booked a vacation to Mexico.

It was either that or go crazy.

Ellie's first time on an airplane.

She is excited.

To put it mildly.

I get the groceries.

See my friends.

(But less than I used to.  I miss my people.)

Clean the toilet.

Put gas in the car.

Drop off and pick up my girl from school.

Cuddle with my husband on the couch.

Go to bed.

And get up the next morning and do it all again.

And I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

my valentines

We are not big Valentines people.

We have birthdays soon and this holiday seems to get overlooked around here.

Cards are about as far as we go.

(Confession: Chris isn't awake yet and I opened his card to me to get a pic of it.  But I didn't read it!!)

Anyway.

I thought I would take a minute to share a few reasons why I love this little family of mine so much.

Bear with me.

1.  We have awesome inside jokes.  I would tell you what they are, but you wouldn't get it.  Or think they were funny.  That's what makes them awesome.

2.  We all three are homebodies.  It works well.

3.  We are quick to apologize when needed.  This is the single most important thing we do to keep things running smoothly around here.

4.  There is nobody we would rather spend time with than each other.  Period.

5.  We understand when another of us needs to be left the heck alone. And we respect it.

6.  We all like a good adventure now and then.  Sometimes that is as simple as getting in the car and heading to a town we have never been to before and seeing what's there.

We're crazy like that.

That's all I have time for today.

Just some little lovelies about my family.

Happy Valentines Day.

To you.

And you.

And you.

an almost 8 year old bedroom

My girl is growing up.

It dawned on me that she might not want me to post everything I want to anymore.

After this post, I am going to have to start asking her permission.

When did THAT happen??

Anyway, I wanted to get a snapshot of her evolving room.

It is in the transition of little to not-so-little girl.

It makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

 Her bed.

And her 947 pillows.

Seriously.

I went in there this morning to wake her up and could hardly find her.

 Her animals. 

We put the vast majority in the attic this past weekend.

This was all that survived.

 Her books.

Again, we put most of her picture books in the attic.

These were much harder for me to part with.

I wanted to keep them all down in her room

but we have to make room for the chapter books now.

Sigh.

 We even added a few growing up books.

We have referenced them a time or two.

Mostly the feelings sections.

Girlfriend has some feelings these days.

 She has a new whiteboard in her room.

She wants me to leave her a note every day while she is at school.

Today was a spelling reminder.

Sneaky a.

 We also have journals now.

One of which is voice activated to hold her most private thoughts.

 And our current read.

With the ever popular "text me" sticker on it.

?

 And we even have (GASP) make-up.

Ok..it's chapstick and perfume.

But it is part of the morning routine now.

Can't go anywhere without our chapstick on.

But there is still one reminder that she is little.

Baby Polar Bear.

Her constant bed companion still.

Look at his frayed paws.

That's were she rubs him at night for comfort.

He waits patiently for her to return everyday.

He might not leave her bed much these days,

not like the good ol' days where he went with us EVERYWHERE,

but I think he understands.

And is content to still be tucked under her chin at night.

 Why do they have to grow up so fast?

It seems like just yesterday I had all day with her.

Doing all those things that stay at home mom's do.

These days are good too though.

She is such a funny little person.

Wonder what she will be like at 10? or 12?  or 16?

That will be here before I know it.

I think I will enjoy the end of 7 for as long as I can.

Smiley face.

Noonie

This is the post I don't want to write.

So I'm going to do it fast and get it over with.

My Noonie died.

He had been sick for a long time.

But that doesn't make it any easier.

He changed when my mother died.

Everyone saw it.

He missed her so damn much.

He got all new friends.

A whole new life really.

I didn't blame him.

Much.

I think it was just too hard to be around us.

'Us' being everyone who knew them together.

It was a long 10 years for him I think.

It's weird.

I feel like an orphan.

I'm 36 years old, a wife and a mother, and I feel like an orphan.

I am all that is left.

If I am being honest with myself, I am not quite sure how I am dealing with all of it.

I don't cry.

I feel a little hollow.

But it is still new.

So it can only get better.

Right?

In the meantime, let me tell you a little about my Dad.

The man could tell a tale.

Could make you believe a story was true no matter how preposterous it was.

I'm not kidding.

He once had some gullible people, who shall remain nameless (Paige and Ken Palladino), believing that President Garfield had twin sons that no one knew of (Orville and Norville) and how they were the reason he was assassinated or something crazy like that.

The story went on for an hour or more.

The 'deception was in the details', or so he liked to say.

I mean, they were hanging on his every word.

He could dance.

There was nothing I liked better as a child than watching my parents dance.

They were really good.

He was an insanely good athlete.

Baseball, basketball, and golf were his favorites.

He was determined I was going to be one too.

I wasn't.

But he never gave up the dream.

I did get pretty good at golf though, so that appeased him.

When my mother would go on vacation without us,

he would buy me hideous food,

(think chocolate donuts and red pop)

and rent me really inappropriate movies.

Like, really inappropriate.

Children of the Corn when I was 7 or 8.

And Revenge of the Nerds when I was 10.

Do you remember all the nudity that is in the movie?

He made the best homemade milkshakes.

Snored louder than any other human alive.

Gave the best hugs.

Was the only person I have ever known who could make instant coffee drinkable.

Had 3 holes in one, one of those being after an eagle.

Had the bluest eyes.

Always took my side in teenage angsty arguments with my mother.

Bought me my first car.

Married the love of his life and treated her like a queen.

Showed me what to look for in a husband.

He was a good daddy.

I miss him.

Back

I have missed this space.

I thought I could let it go, as life got really busy.

With my girl.

And work.

And other stuff.

You know, just general busyness.

But I don't feel myself unless I am putting my thoughts out there for all to see.

I am not going to get too deep with this post.

This is just a heads up.

I AM BACK.

So be prepared. I predict lots of randomness, with a dash of humor, and a fair share of sentimentality. 

PS.  Hi Papa Joe :)