22 things I want 16 year old Ellie to know

Lately I have started to think about what Ellie will be like as a teenager.

She is about to turn 8 and I seriously don't know where the time went.

It this amount of time again she will be 16.

And I feel like I have only had her for a little while.

Sigh.

When she is 16, these are the things I want to tell her.

Like what you like.

Even if no one else likes it.

Even if it is hankies and Barry Manilow.

Fly your freak flag proudly.

Wear sunscreen.

All. The. Time.

Be kind.

To your friends.

To animals.

To strangers.

To yourself.

Learn a firm handshake.

And how to change a tire.

How to properly apply make-up.

And how to make your favorite cookies.

Love your body.

It's the only one you're gonna get.

Love the curves.

Love the imperfections.

Love your curly hair.

Volunteer your time.

Find something you are passionate about and make a difference.

Read.

Every little thing you can get your hands on.

Read the classics.

Read smut.

Just read.

Keep your body healthy and strong.

Eat well.

Exercise.

Get lots of sleep.

But always eat the cupcake when offered.

Carbohydrates are not the enemy.

Test your limits.

Whether that be running a marathon

or

starring in the school play.

Do something that scares the living crap out of you.

Tell me everything.

I want to know. I really do.

I want to know the smallest details.

Learn from your mistakes.

Like lots of girls.

Be friends with all of them.

Girls this age can be sketchy.

Avoid the drama at all costs.

Like lots of boys.

Be friends with them.

But be careful who you give your heart to.

It's important.

Break the rules occasionally.

But be careful!

Put the technology down.

Go outside.

Enjoy nature and green things.

Do a good job.

Don't half ass things.

Carry your weight.

Dream BIG.

You can do anything you want to do.

Hang out with Dad and me occasionally.

We love you.

Ok.  

Now I am going to go hug little tiny (nearly) 8 year old Ellie and be thankful she is still little.

going home

Going home.

It used to mean my childhood house.

Visiting with my aunts and uncles and cousins and friends.

It meant

Jerry's ice cream.

Swimming at Delaware.

Golfing at Hickory Hills.  

But now, my days in my childhood home are numbered.

That is a WEIRD feeling.

Chris and I have been back a few times to clean out the house,

packing up the things we want,

and donating the things we don't.

It's sad.

To see it empty is much more difficult than I thought it would be.

We were there last weekend making progress on the clean out.

I was about to put my old ratty, falling apart CandyLand game in the donate pile when I noticed that my mother had written on it "Save for Tia.  For her little girl."

Needless to say, we now have 2 CandyLand games.

And there are 356 other things just like it.

The memories are overwhelming.

We were making the bed the last morning we were there (the only bed left in the house)

and Chris mentioned that we should tear it apart and take it out to storage because we probably just spent our last night in the house.

My heart sank.

My last night?

In the only house I ever knew until I grew up?

But then I remembered that we will need a place to sleep when we come back to get all the stuff we put in storage.

So I have one more weekend in that house.

Sigh.

I am grateful that Ellie is old enough she will remember it.

I loved growing up in that house.

And I want her to remember what it was like.

Here she is standing at the tree that held my tire swing, overlooking the field.

It's interesting though.

Going home used to mean going to Parker.

Now it means coming back to Cleveland.

It was a subtle shift of thinking.

I am not even sure when it happened.

But home is here now.

With my guy and my girl.

I will always look forward to going to Parker.

I love my people there.

And the slow easiness of the small town life.

But I will love coming home even more.

To the life I have now.

in the forest

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times.

The forest is my happy place.

I don't know why I stayed away so long.

Oh yeah.

It's been cold enough to freeze your eyelids closed, for like, forever.

But today my girl and I headed out to the thicket.

(I have always loved that word.  Thicket.)

It was peaceful.

Just birds.

Squirrels.

The occasional runner.

And us.

I feel restored.

And she feels like King of the World.

We then went to Panera for a snack.

And topped the afternoon off with a bit of old fashioned roller skating.

It was a good day.

I am happy.

Add buttered popcorn, my book, The Walking Dead, and an early bedtime,

and it is a perfect day.

little happies

I am not gonna lie people.

I am really struggling.

I don't know if it is the weather

(so much of which we can do things like this:)

Or losing my Noonie.

Or just stress in general.

But UGH.

I am not in a good place.

But after weeks of blah.

And sleeping a lot.

And being a slug.

And eating horrible.

I have decided it is enough.

No more Blah.

I looked around today, and in the space of 5 minutes found all of these things to be happy about.

This boy.

In the sun.

It may be 54 below zero, but the sun is shining.

And that helps.

 These bangs.

She went from looking 7 to 12 with one snip of the scissors.

Sigh.

Celebrating this guy last weekend.

I love that man so.

To the moon and back.

Forever and ever.

A new little girl was born last Sunday morning.

And I fell head over heels.

Welcome Aidy Lou.

I love you!

I got my hairs cut.

It's SHORT.

and 

DARK (er.)

I love it!

An unexpected present in the mail from a fellow hankie lover.

With the sweetest note.

Made my entire day.

Thank you Abby.  

I love it.

And have already used it :)

This boy again.

Always around.

A new found love of the (borrowed) guitar.

She plays it ALL THE TIME.

And writes her own songs with lyrics like

"I put my hand on the radio, and right then and there I heard my song."

"I heard my game.  I heard my fame"

"Oh Oh Oh Oh"

And we get performances.

Next up: lessons!

Little notes like this all over the house.

She is my favorite. 

Remembering to Enjoy Cleveland.

Even when it is so cold you just want to die.

Seriously.

Her cami's.

Never ever ever ever without one.

Chris doesn't get it at all.

I bought her another one.

"But she already has 3" he says.

But not a neon orange one.

Duh.

So there.

Officially out of the doldrums.

For serious.

my life right now

I feel like we need a little catch up.

You know.  Since I have been gone for so long.

 I am sure you are dying to know what my day to day is like.

Right?

Ok.

Twist my arm.

I'll tell you.

Here it is in a nutshell.

It snows a lot.

My kid never goes to school due to 'inclement weather.'

I work sitting at my dining room table.

With Spotify playing sad music.

I don't know why I am into such sad music.

I cook.

Or we fend for dinner.

(which means popcorn for me, protein of some kind for Chris, and pasta and veggies for Ellie.)

I heat and re-heat my rice bag.

I lay it across the tops of my legs when I am working.

I think I might have permanently scarred my upper thighs from the heat.

I'm not kidding.

But at least I am warm.

I watch The Walking Dead.

and Downton Abbey.

One right after the other.

Talk about differing tastes!

I do laundry.

And do laundry.

And do laundry.

I shovel snow.

And shovel.

And shovel.

I stress about things that are completely out of my control.

Which is stupid.

But I can't help it.

I booked a vacation to Mexico.

It was either that or go crazy.

Ellie's first time on an airplane.

She is excited.

To put it mildly.

I get the groceries.

See my friends.

(But less than I used to.  I miss my people.)

Clean the toilet.

Put gas in the car.

Drop off and pick up my girl from school.

Cuddle with my husband on the couch.

Go to bed.

And get up the next morning and do it all again.

And I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

my valentines

We are not big Valentines people.

We have birthdays soon and this holiday seems to get overlooked around here.

Cards are about as far as we go.

(Confession: Chris isn't awake yet and I opened his card to me to get a pic of it.  But I didn't read it!!)

Anyway.

I thought I would take a minute to share a few reasons why I love this little family of mine so much.

Bear with me.

1.  We have awesome inside jokes.  I would tell you what they are, but you wouldn't get it.  Or think they were funny.  That's what makes them awesome.

2.  We all three are homebodies.  It works well.

3.  We are quick to apologize when needed.  This is the single most important thing we do to keep things running smoothly around here.

4.  There is nobody we would rather spend time with than each other.  Period.

5.  We understand when another of us needs to be left the heck alone. And we respect it.

6.  We all like a good adventure now and then.  Sometimes that is as simple as getting in the car and heading to a town we have never been to before and seeing what's there.

We're crazy like that.

That's all I have time for today.

Just some little lovelies about my family.

Happy Valentines Day.

To you.

And you.

And you.

an almost 8 year old bedroom

My girl is growing up.

It dawned on me that she might not want me to post everything I want to anymore.

After this post, I am going to have to start asking her permission.

When did THAT happen??

Anyway, I wanted to get a snapshot of her evolving room.

It is in the transition of little to not-so-little girl.

It makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

 Her bed.

And her 947 pillows.

Seriously.

I went in there this morning to wake her up and could hardly find her.

 Her animals. 

We put the vast majority in the attic this past weekend.

This was all that survived.

 Her books.

Again, we put most of her picture books in the attic.

These were much harder for me to part with.

I wanted to keep them all down in her room

but we have to make room for the chapter books now.

Sigh.

 We even added a few growing up books.

We have referenced them a time or two.

Mostly the feelings sections.

Girlfriend has some feelings these days.

 She has a new whiteboard in her room.

She wants me to leave her a note every day while she is at school.

Today was a spelling reminder.

Sneaky a.

 We also have journals now.

One of which is voice activated to hold her most private thoughts.

 And our current read.

With the ever popular "text me" sticker on it.

?

 And we even have (GASP) make-up.

Ok..it's chapstick and perfume.

But it is part of the morning routine now.

Can't go anywhere without our chapstick on.

But there is still one reminder that she is little.

Baby Polar Bear.

Her constant bed companion still.

Look at his frayed paws.

That's were she rubs him at night for comfort.

He waits patiently for her to return everyday.

He might not leave her bed much these days,

not like the good ol' days where he went with us EVERYWHERE,

but I think he understands.

And is content to still be tucked under her chin at night.

 Why do they have to grow up so fast?

It seems like just yesterday I had all day with her.

Doing all those things that stay at home mom's do.

These days are good too though.

She is such a funny little person.

Wonder what she will be like at 10? or 12?  or 16?

That will be here before I know it.

I think I will enjoy the end of 7 for as long as I can.

Smiley face.