remembering

Summer is just getting right by me.

I don't like that.

Time goes so dang fast.

Why does it have to do that?

I mean, I sneezed and it was the end of July.

My girl and I,

we have struggled a bit this summer.

She wants me home.

Heck.

I want me home.

But it is just not in the cards.

So before I forget,
I want to remember her how she is.
Right this very moment.

She is funny.
Good gravy that girl makes me laugh.

Her hair is never fully brushed.
Ever.
Never Ever.
Drives me nuts.

Nothing she wears matches.

She loves baby polar bear.
And barbies.
And her scooter.
And ice cream.

She is good at softball.
Like, good.
Her little arm is still not strong enough to throw it very far, but watch out when it is.
She is on a co-ed 6-10 year old team.
Yes.
10 year old boys on her team.
I'm not scared anymore.
She can hold her own.
She lifts her chin up when she strikes out.
She wants to cry.
But doesn't.
Cause there's no crying in baseball.



She is convinced she will be the first female American Ninja Warrior.
And we never miss an episode.

She's excited for school.
But mostly cause it means new shoes.
Lord help me.

She is so pretty.
And I struggle not to tell her every single time I look at her.
It's a fine line.
Wanting her to know how gorgeous she is.
But wanting her not to care at all.

She is so strong!
She can do things I could never do.
Ever.
Shimmy up a rope.
One armed push-ups.
Girlfriend is fierce!

She is sensitive.
To the point of distraction.
This worries me to no end.
Her feelings get hurt so easily.
Just like mine do.
And I know how hard that is.

She is almost half way through 7.
I like 7.
I like that she wants to be around me.
I'm not sure how much longer that is going to last.
 I like her.
That will last forever.

can i have some cheese shets?

I have been waiting for this moment since the day she was born.

My little toothless wonder.

I went to pick her up from camp last Friday and she came running up to me all closed mouthed yet smiley.

When she smiled, her little toothers were gone!

2 in one day!

Apparently, a little girl in camp has a mom for a dentist and coached Ellie through pulling them out.

Thank goodness!

(They were at that gross, really dangly, discolored stage.)

We talked about it and I high fived her.

But was slightly disappointed in her lack of speech impediment.

Then she got in the car and asked for some Cheez-its.

"Mom?  Can I have some cheezshets?"

I burst out laughing.

There it was! 

The funny sounding esses!

She laughed too and we spent the rest of the trip home finding funny things for her to say.

I love Jeshus!

Shassafrash!

Shelly shells sheshells by the sheshore!

7 might be my favorite age so far.

what i know for sure: things i am loving right now

Well would you look at that.

2 days in a row.

I'm a rockstar.

Here's what I''m loving these days:

 

 

Ice cream dinners.

 

 Ellie's outfits.

They are beautiful disasters.

My husband.

He somehow looks better now than he ever ever has.

He is HOT.

 

Cool breezes through the bedroom window at night.

 

The fact that Downton Abbey season 3 is now on Amazon Prime.

Hello!

 

No less than 12 books on my nightstand.

 

SYTYCD

Love the pixie haired blond girl.

And I love that I have to save it to watch with E.

Girl is obsessed.

 

Sunny afternoons and flip flop tan lines.

 

Planning a patio.

 

Grilled food.

 

Fresh Fork.

This is our local CSA and so far I am VERY impressed.

 

Robin egg blue nail polish.

And the fact that Ellie can paint them for me.

 

Fantastic babysitters.

 

 

 

 

 

what i know for sure: things that drive me nuts

It's time for another rousing edition of "What I Know for Sure."

This time it is about the current things that drive me bonkers.

Ok, let's get started, shall we?

Patio guys that don't show up when they say they are going to.

Treeless backyards.

Mollescum.

Being in a group of people and everyone is buried in their phones.

I really hate that.

Weeds.

Unloading the dishwasher.

Hard popcorn kernels that you bite on wrong.

Sore joints.

(Seriously.  It's like I'm 80.)

Dirty kitchen floors.

Dirty bathroom floors.

Dirty everywhere floors.

Having to work in the summer.

Sunburned noggins.

Dogs that poop in my yard.

Having to get gas.

(I try really hard to time it for when Chris is in my car.)

Paying a small fortune for said gas.

Bedhead and a tenderheaded girl.

It's not a good combo.

Softball practice or games every night of the week.

So on and so forth.

Wow.  I sound crudmudginy.

Maybe tomorrow I will hop on here and do what I am loving right now.

Cause there's a whole lot of that right now too.

Can you imagine?

A post, 2 days in a row!

homesick

We had grand plans,

Chris and I.

A whole week without a kid.

In our own house!

We were going to golf and watch movies.

Go out to breakfast and relax.

Ellie was staying at Linda and Wayne's.

She was so excited!

Like, rambled about it for months, excited.

She was going to go to Bible School and swim and see her cousins and eat ice cream and take scooter rides.

Then we left.

And the proverbial excrement hit the fan.

The first night she started texting me at 10:30.

"I woke up with a bad dream."

"I'm sad."

"I miss my home."

Then she face timed me at 12:15 with crocodile tears.

"I need you, Mommy."

(Knife to chest, twist, repeat.)

(Note to self, no ipod touch allowed in bed.)

We decided that night to see how the next day went and we would re-evaluate.

I didn't sleep well.

 

The day went great!

She loved Bible School and spent time with her cousins.

I got smiley face texts and all was well.

But then it was bedtime again.

Cue the crocodile tears.

 For the first time in her life, I was MAD at her.

Mad that she wasn't willing to stick it out.

Mad, cause I knew she could have SO MUCH fun if she would just let herself.

Mad that Linda had to deal with this irrational kid.

And if I am being perfectly honest, I was mad that I didn't get my week.

Cause I can be a baby about stuff like that.

So I had a choice.

Do I teach the "stick it out, you will be so proud you did" lesson,

or the

"I am your mama and I will always be there when you need me" lesson.

I chose the latter.

 Because she is 7.

And she was sad.

And for whatever reason, founded or not, she wanted to come home.

We left at 9 in the pm to meet Wayne half way, 2.5 hours.

At 2 in the am she was all snuggled in her own bed.

Happy as a lark. 

 

Wayne is our new hero.

Thank you Wayne.  We love you.

I vividly remember being homesick as a kid.

A lot.

I think what made it worse was knowing how utterly sad she felt.

Even though it was nuts.

Knowing she felt all alone in the world.

Even though there were no less than 25 people in a mile radius that love her to pieces.

Homesickness is for the birds.

The ugly, rotten, stinky birds.

She and Chris were talking yesterday and Chris was explaining what homesick meant.

She replied:

"I didn't even know you could get that.  It is awful!"

And when she talks to people about it, I realized she thinks she got sick.

She doesn't say "I was homesick."

She says "I had homesick."

Hee.

There are so few of these little kid mistakes anymore, I hate to correct this one.

 

So now she is home.

And we have hit the summer routine.

And I think she has only occasionally wished she stuck it out.

But overall, I think we made the right decision.

So thank you Indiana family for trying REALLY hard to show her a good time.

We really appreciate it!

She just had a moment.  

A "cry for your parents til you drive me 5 hours in the middle of the night" moment.

Parenting is hard.

mothers

 

I love Mother's Day.

And hate it.

All at the same time.

 

Chris does a great job celebrating me.

He cooks me breakfast.

And they make homemade cards.

And I get time to myself.

And this year he promised to watch the Survivor finale with me.  All three hours. 

Whilst he scratches my back.

I feel extremely loved.

 

But I don't have a mama to celebrate.

Not one that's here.

Present.

Touchable.

 

That's hard.

And I can get mired down in it if I let myself.

I miss her so damn much.

Every single second of the world.

 

But then I remember that I have a bunch of mothers.

Women who have mothered me.

Women I have mothered with.

Women who aren't even mothers yet, but love my girl like another mother.

Women I don't see very often, but know I could call in an instant and they would be there.

Women from my past.

Women from my present.

Women I adore.

 

So, I would like to list them here.

In no particular order of importance.

Cause I love them all.

And I want them to know it.

 

Aunt Linda

Aunt Judy

Paige

Izzy

Jen

Yvonne

Megan

Julie

Lisa

Liz

Ann

Nancy

Kim

Meredith

Quincy

Jodi

Holly

Heather

Lori

Dawn

Sheryl

Amber

Elizabeth

Toni

Amy

Barb

Karen

Louise

Missy

Sherry

Trisha

Courtney

Maddie

and a whole slew of others

 

That's a bunch of women.

Who love me.

And my girl.

So even though it's not perfect, it's bearable.

Because I am not alone.

 

Happy Mother's Day to you and you and you.

 



stuff and things

I can't seem to get my stuff together lately.

Know what I mean?

My house is always dusty.

There are always clothes crumpled in the dryer.

There is always a trail of kitty food from the bag to his bowl.

I can't seem to remember to scoop the litter boxes.

{gross}

Don't even get me started on Ellie's room.

It got so bad, she cleaned it herself, without being asked.

Let me repeat that.

She cleaned it herself, without being asked.

I think I am crazy.

Or lazy.

However.

I am getting lots of walks in.

Homework is getting done.

I have read a book.

I am asleep most nights by 10 pm.

I have discovered two new recipes that are freaking delicious.

We have lots of fun travel coming up in the next few weeks.

Niagara Falls.

Home for the fair.

Pelee.

Woot!

I may even go crazy and take pictures and post them on here.

Other than that, we are just working and playing and loving.

But definitely not cleaning.

Much.